I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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