If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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