idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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