So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
