Are we in a gay sports bar?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
