After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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