She's JV to your varsity
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
