im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
