1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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