im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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