Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
