Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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