Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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