ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
