You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
