so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I smell like Dick and happiness
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
