I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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