K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
