i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
