Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
