Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
