and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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