I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
