Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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