OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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