it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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