Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
