he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Randomize
