Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
