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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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