i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
