i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
