On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
