1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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