he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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