Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
