i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
