There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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