Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
