I can tuck mytits in my pants
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
