I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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