If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
