party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hello my rib-scented angel!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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