I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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