And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
