my room smells like sperm. sweet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize