If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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