did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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