Sry I called you an 8
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
