I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
